I wrote those words earlier tonight; as I read them I wonder that I wrote them, that I was able to put the sincerity of my feeling behind those words...these are not trivialities, not idle syllables - these things have the power, if allowed, to define a life, my life and my Life.
Of all who read this, I have a unique perspective on the matter as principal participant. Perhaps some who read this will figure into the tale someway or another, perhaps not. I hope this entry finds resonance with some beside myself, though this writing is effective if such is not the case.
What I know is that these last weeks have been a roller coaster for me. Within the last month I have experienced genuine hope and vision of an incredible future; I've felt the prescient glory of victory, of ascendancy over challenge. I've also felt near hopelessness, weakness, fear, doubt...that's a lot to take into one person.
Why didn't the positive emotion last, or why, we might ask with equal force, is the negative emotion giving way now? In either case, the emotional/mental/spiritual state has arisen from the law I've lived. You see, there are principles that bear into one's life all the effects one experiences. Putting one's self in a position to receive certain things must necessarily draw into one's life those things one has put one's self in a position to receive. Interestingly enough, the law is impartial, it simply gives according to the majority of one's desire, thus, when I stood, exalted, upon my hills of dream (as says a favorite poem), I stood there because my overriding desire was to be happy and to move forward, because I was cultivating an environment where those feelings, thoughts, and actions could flourish - though all else remained unchanged around me I was changed and so enabled to bear that change to the world; similarly with the inverse effects of the negative: I received no differently than I requested. There was no change between order and delivery, though I might have believed I'd actually ordered something else at the time...honest reflection shows my state to be the product of my own doing, all change or the lack of change being according to my own will, which, under God, is indomitable.
Through the instrumentality of certain exterior sources near and dear to me and in light of the ever rushing tide of time in which I presently live, it has come into my being that changes need to be made, changes for the better. By virtue of certain circumstances I have previously chosen it seems to me that small changes will not suffice, there must be a transformative effort, and such things always require dramatic energy to be expended, particularly in the initial stages of the change being sought.
My point, friends, is that I'm charging out, and I know not exactly where I'll have to go. There are certain things available to me to accomplish this transformative rise, but the specifics are dark to me...still, the darkness cannot hinder my charge...nor slow the upward, onward march thereafter. To say I know what's going to happen would be a lie. I have a feeling, just a feeling, that things will work out for the best, but it is a peaceful feeling, a feeling I've come to recognize as the signature of God, indicating the presence of His hand. What the feeling actually is, is this: As I give my best I'll receive His best - and that's a guarantee I can march with o'er any terrain.
As I indicated before: "If a journey does not demand of a man more than he presently has the journey is not worthy of his efforts."
So it is written, so it must be done. Pray for me my friends, as I pray for you; we need all the Help we can get! :)
Of all who read this, I have a unique perspective on the matter as principal participant. Perhaps some who read this will figure into the tale someway or another, perhaps not. I hope this entry finds resonance with some beside myself, though this writing is effective if such is not the case.
What I know is that these last weeks have been a roller coaster for me. Within the last month I have experienced genuine hope and vision of an incredible future; I've felt the prescient glory of victory, of ascendancy over challenge. I've also felt near hopelessness, weakness, fear, doubt...that's a lot to take into one person.
Why didn't the positive emotion last, or why, we might ask with equal force, is the negative emotion giving way now? In either case, the emotional/mental/spiritual state has arisen from the law I've lived. You see, there are principles that bear into one's life all the effects one experiences. Putting one's self in a position to receive certain things must necessarily draw into one's life those things one has put one's self in a position to receive. Interestingly enough, the law is impartial, it simply gives according to the majority of one's desire, thus, when I stood, exalted, upon my hills of dream (as says a favorite poem), I stood there because my overriding desire was to be happy and to move forward, because I was cultivating an environment where those feelings, thoughts, and actions could flourish - though all else remained unchanged around me I was changed and so enabled to bear that change to the world; similarly with the inverse effects of the negative: I received no differently than I requested. There was no change between order and delivery, though I might have believed I'd actually ordered something else at the time...honest reflection shows my state to be the product of my own doing, all change or the lack of change being according to my own will, which, under God, is indomitable.
Through the instrumentality of certain exterior sources near and dear to me and in light of the ever rushing tide of time in which I presently live, it has come into my being that changes need to be made, changes for the better. By virtue of certain circumstances I have previously chosen it seems to me that small changes will not suffice, there must be a transformative effort, and such things always require dramatic energy to be expended, particularly in the initial stages of the change being sought.
My point, friends, is that I'm charging out, and I know not exactly where I'll have to go. There are certain things available to me to accomplish this transformative rise, but the specifics are dark to me...still, the darkness cannot hinder my charge...nor slow the upward, onward march thereafter. To say I know what's going to happen would be a lie. I have a feeling, just a feeling, that things will work out for the best, but it is a peaceful feeling, a feeling I've come to recognize as the signature of God, indicating the presence of His hand. What the feeling actually is, is this: As I give my best I'll receive His best - and that's a guarantee I can march with o'er any terrain.
As I indicated before: "If a journey does not demand of a man more than he presently has the journey is not worthy of his efforts."
So it is written, so it must be done. Pray for me my friends, as I pray for you; we need all the Help we can get! :)
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